June 1, 2012 Newsletter
Greetings to all PDI Warriors,
Welcome to the June 2012 PD Institute newsletter. This issue will introduce you to a new service the Peyronie’s Disease Institute is now exclusively providing just for women who are in a relationship with men who have Peyronies.
This special PDI program is a woman-to-woman Peyronie’s support service that is available to any English-speaking woman, providing either a 30 or a 60 minute telephone consultation. Our nurse will call to help any woman who has questions about dealing with the concerns and problems that have appeared since Peyronie’s disease came into her life. For more information about this personal service from PDI, click Woman to Woman Peyronie’s Consultation.
Women are isolated by Peyronie’s disease
It is estimated that if all information, posts, articles and instructions on the PDI website were printed out, the total would be over 1,000 pages. All of this Peyronie’s disease information is written specifically for, about, and to men who have PD. However, not withstanding that PD is indeed a physical problem of a man’s reproductive system, any woman in that man’s life will find herself caught in a troublesome set of problems that are unique to Peyronie’s disease; any of these can be devastating to her on many different levels. Even though the woman can also be seen as a victim of PD in her own way, she is not the center of attention of this problem and so often is forgotten, left to deal with her worries and fears by herself.
No Peyronie’s organization or medical group has made this kind of specific help available for the women whose lives are equally up-ended and feel just as alone and confused as the men who have PD – until now.
While the man with the curved shaft and erectile dysfunction (ED) has many vexing issues suddenly thrown on him when he is diagnosed with Peyronies disease, his mate also has her own set of new and unsettling problems that need to be considered and solved. Who will help the woman sort through her feelings of rejection now that her mate refuses to discuss his problem and rejects sexual intimacy? How does she deal with her feelings of guilt that she caused his problem during an accident while they were making love? What is the appropriate way for her to handle her anger when she realizes that she is suddenly in a relationship without sexual intercourse and a moody husband? How does she react to her husband’s comments about committing suicide? Who does she look to for help dealing with the growing isolation from physical intimacy and lack of communication from the man she loves? What is the appropriate way to manage the frustration she feels because her husband will not do anything to help himself, and rejects her efforts to comfort him and offer him support? How does she handle the fear she feels for her marriage and what it will do to her family? What does she do about her growing sexual frustration?
Men with Peyronie’s disease very often are wracked with anger, embarrassment and fear of rejection because of their reduced sexual ability and diminished physical size. To protect himself from potential humiliation, a man who is newly diagnosed with PD will often ask his wife or girlfriend to not discuss his Peyronie’s disease problem with anyone – it is to be their secret. While this helps him feel protected from the fear of embarrassment, it isolates the woman from those people she would normally turn to for advice and support.
Eventually what usually happens is that the woman in such a relationship finds herself isolated on two different fronts: Her mate does not want to discuss his Peyronie’s problem; he prefers to ignore his problem and becomes very angry if she mentions it, so she cannot talk to him about their relationship problems and her worries. And secondly, by staying true to her promise to not talk to family or friends about the Peyronie’s problems they are going through together, she is made to be alone at a time she needs help most.
Even if a woman could talk to anyone she wanted, who could she actually turn to for genuine help dealing with his Peyronie’s disease? She has already learned that the medical doctor who made the diagnosis of PD is not going to be of help to her – or him for that matter. Very likely her family and friends have never heard of Peyronie’s disease and have no idea what she is going through; they would feel as stunned, uninformed and confused about this subject as she does. Greater misunderstanding and turmoil would arise if she took the advice of someone who has no idea what it is like living with Peyronie’s disease in a personal relationship. So she talks to no one and it eats her up inside.
Registered nurse with Peyronies experience
To address all the many common and uncommon problems and questions that arise in every PD relationship, the Peyronie’s Disease Institute is pleased to offers this exclusive woman-to-woman consultation service for any woman who finds herself caught in the nightmare of Peyronie’s disease.
Patricia Herazy, RN, my wife, will work directly to help these women of Peyronie’s disease. She has not only the medical knowledge to answer technical questions about Peyronie’s disease, but more importantly she also has the valuable personal experience of dealing with my Peyronie’s disease that started in 2002. When my Peyronies was first discovered I was a handful for her, but she knew how to handle me. She helped me through my dark time while we worked together until I eventually recovered from my Peyronies disease. She has done the same for women who I have asked her to talk to on a select basis. She has recently decided to do this full time, working by phone call appointments to discuss whatever Peyronie’s subject is high priority to a woman.
Women need to know that most men undergo personality changes – some more than others – because of the intense stress and humiliation they feel as a result of losing their symbol of masculinity and self-worth. The women of Peyronie’s disease need to be armed with medical information and practical experience that will help them survive and thrive during the nasty PD experience. Pat can prepare a woman how to see and understand her man in a way that makes her stronger and wiser; a little knowledge and personal insight goes a long way toward maintaining sanity and self-respect.
As my wife has often said, “Men are just grown up little boys when it comes to their genitals.”
There is nothing you can tell her that she has not heard before. Pat has counseled with women from around the world who have benefitted from her practical insights and honest information; she is available to help them deal with their private relationship problems, answer questions about sex, and offer guidance about Peyronie’s disease treatment.
Talking to a woman makes it easier to get help
The average man with PD is given very little time, information or consideration in the urologist’s office; the average woman is given none. In over 10 years of doing this PD work I have never talked to a woman who said she was given a chance to ask questions about her problems related to Peyronie’s disease, such as the common “mechanical” problem of difficult or impossible entry because of a weak or curved shaft. For this reason the PDI woman-to-woman program is such a valuable opportunity for a woman to directly speak to another woman with medical knowledge in a frank way about real-world problems. Every woman will now be able to benefit by having an honest adult conversation about what really happens to a couple when they encounter Peyronie’s disease, and explore solutions and options with someone who cares.
During an average week I will talk at length to perhaps 4-6 women who call with questions about their husband’s or boyfriend’s PD. It does not take long for our conversations to turn around to that woman’s personal problems (feelings of rejection, anger, isolation, confusion, guilt) as a result of PD entering their lives and bedrooms. While I am told these PD discussions are helpful and appreciated, I understand these women feel difficulty and hesitation to discuss their intimate problems with me.
If you – as a man – have no idea what I mean about “the woman’s personal problems (feelings of rejection, anger, isolation, confusion, guilt) as a result of PD entering their lives and bedrooms,” then you MUST show this newsletter to your wife or girlfriend. You are probably one of those men who are so lost in your own pain and confusion that you do not see how she is suffering right along with you. One of her major problems is that she needs support, information and insight that you are not able to give to her.
Peyronie’s disease questions and answers
In a private telephone discussion with the PDI nurse each woman can have Peyronie’s disease explained to her, ask questions about sex and anatomy, learn how the PDI treatment concept can help him to reverse the PD plaque that can straighten his curvature, what she can do to help him recover, or anything else that is on her mind.
For more information about this private and personal service from PDI, click on Woman to Woman Peyronie’s Consultation.
So there you have it. Now your better half can get some personalized ideas and information in a way that will be most helpful to her, and you too. If you know the lady in your life is having difficulty dealing with your Peyronie’s problem, do yourself a favor and suggest she makes an appointment to get some straight answers from our nurse. When she feels better you know you will feel better.
Let me know if you have any questions about what you are doing with your treatment plan. Send your questions to me so I can give you some ideas to work with.
Stay focused to your Peyronie’s (and Dupuytren’s) treatment. See you next month.
Theodore R. Herazy, DC, LAc