Doctor,
My husband was diagnosed with Peyronie’s disease a little more than two years ago but is not doing anything about it. His doctor told him there is nothing to do for his condition except surgery, so he has just shut down. He will not talk to me about his severe curvature and he refuses to discuss how we are going to continue like this. In fact, over the last few months he is talking to me less and less. We have not had intimate relations since all this started.
Of course I am worried about his physical condition, but I also see him becoming more isolated and quick to get angry and this makes me worried for him. He is a good man and we had a great relationship before this happened.
I see that your attitude and approach is so much different about this problem that I hope you can help us. How do I help my husband deal with his lack of interest in sexual activity since he first developed Peyronie’s disease?
Harriet
P.S. Thanks for helping others.
Greetings Harriet,
Sorry to learn that your husband has withdrawn from his problem, but this is actually a very common situation. Many men respond this way when they develop Peyronie’s disease. I know so because I receive emails all the time from worried wives that report the same thing you are going through. Peyronie’s disease can be very stressful and confusing for the man who gets it, but also for his wife who desperately wants to help and does not know how. It can hurt a lot.
This subject is broad and deep. In fact, because it is so common and important in PD treatment I devoted a considerable portion of the 2nd book I wrote to this area of the relationship of any couple dealing with PD. I suggest you go to the PDI website and order the book, “Peyronie’s Disease and Sex” to learn what you can do to help your husband, because there is actually a lot you can do. I know this book will help you to understand what is going on inside him, and what you can do now to bridge the gap between you.
From considerable past experience I can tell you that his lack of communication with you, and his withdrawal from sexual contact, are all related to fear and shame. Become more knowledgeable about Peyronie’s disease; learn some of the more technical terms and concepts; learn about natural PD treatment; memorize just a few facts about PD. The very next time you are given a natural and appropriate opportunity to mention something about PD, include some of this new technical information in your conversation. Talk about Peyronie’s disease and the treatment ideas you learned on the PDI website. Do not talk about or mention what is going on with him. Do not make it personal at this time; make the conversational general so he is not made to feel any more uncomfortable than necessary, Just the fact that you suddenly know these things will tell him that you are on his side, and that you now know a few things that might help him. Slowly draw him out this way. If he asks, show him the PDI website and show him how to explore it.
If you can make him aware that there is actually a reasonable and effective approach to Peyronie’s treatment that his MD did not know about, you can give your husband a a reason to get excited about overcoming his problem. This approach has helped save other marriages and could help you also.
Let me know if you have any specific questions I can assist you with. TRH
