I am 22 years old, i was messing around with a girl (not having sex) but, she got turned on and thrusted down on me and her pelvic bone hit on the end of my erect penis and it hurt momentarily and i thought nothing of it and went on with business. When we finally had sex the next week and i felt smaller but just shrugged it off to a bad day. Then it still seemed to stay smaller and it began to hurt.
After 2 months of it hurting when i got an erection and noticing a bend in the middle i scheduled an appointment with a Urologist and wasn't too worried because i figured no matter the cost it would be fixable and i have an upcoming deployment so i would have the money to pay for any reconstructive surgery (which i looked up and found out there is nothing to fix it!).
I went to the urologist appointment and he said real quick it was Peyronie's disease and explained what i injured, to take vitamin E and just it will heal but i'll lose length and girth and will be more liable to injure it further in the future then he abruptly left the room and that was it.
The past week since my visit i have been scouring the internet and becoming very depressed and have been contemplating suicide ( seen another 22 year old post similar which made me feel as i should ask for help also) i have a 40 degree upward bend, the top of my dick when flaccid has a hard feeling to it, sort of a elongated lump. I feel about 3/4 to an inch smaller and much thinner. Also weaker erection but, that has started since the diagnosis which i believe is more mental that actual physical condition. But just a quick prelude, when having sex with girls for the first time i've always been shy and would struggle to hold an erection the first time or two until i was comfortable. Had a good sexual relationship with the girl before and was almost always ready to go no problem, and then that ended and after finally having confidence in my sexual self, i hurt myself and feel i'm ruined forever.
Greetings young man,
No, you are not ruined forever. You are only ruined if you allow yourself to be ruined. But, you are too good for that; you have already proven that you are too good to allow Peyronie's disease to ruin you because you have already started to take steps to take care of yourself and to learn about this ugly problem. You have already showed me in your email that you will be one of those who survives Peyronie's disease one way or the other.
However, it sure as hell is true you are deeply scarred; you are also confused about this mystery condition that came out of the blue to hit you when you weren't looking; you are also shocked at how little the medical profession has to offer you; and you are also upset at the cold and indifferent way the urologist treated you. When you put all these powerful negative emotions together it can rattle your thinking and put you mentally and emotionally off-balance for just a little bit. Because of this you have allowed yourself to think about suicide for maybe the first time in your life. How do I know you are feeling this way? I experienced something similar when I developed PD in 2002. In fact the majority of the thousands of men I have communicated with about PD have felt just like you, and have thought many of those same black thoughts. When you have a lousy medical experience with Peyronie's disease like you did – just like almost all men do – you can understandably have an almost identical emotional reaction – just like almost all men do. The difference is that only a few men are honest enough to talk about it.
What you must do now is get busy to help yourself because you already know there is very little help for you from the medical side. Most MDs are rather indifferent to the plight of the men they diagnose with Peyronie's disease. In your reading and investigation of the PDI website I am sure you have come across the information by now that is repeated many times about 50% of men who develop PD getting over it (spontaneous remission of Peyronie's disease) without any outside help at all. The message of the Peyronie's Disease Institute is that you always have the option of improving your odds of recovery by supporting your natural ability to heal PD like those lucky guys who do it naturally. In fact, you could be one of those men and you just do not know it at this time. There is much you can do to support the natural tendency of the body to always do the most it can to heal and recover to the best of its ability.
You admit that you are a shy person. Many times shyness comes from insecurity and lack of confidence that are rooted in past childhood issues. There is nothing like being naked in front of someone for the first time to test your self-confidence and personal comfort. Now that PD is an issue these insecurities and self-doubts are challenged even more. This is a vitally important and complex subject that is central to the negative emotions that so many men feel when they first deal with Peyronie's disease. I want to say many things to help you with this subject but my time and space is limited. I strongly encourage you to get one of the books I wrote that I think will help you greatly, “Peyronie's Disease and Sex.” There are so many helpful topics covered in this book that I am confident will help you think your way through your self-doubts. Hopefully reading it will guide you to the other end of the problem at which time you will feel differently about having Peyronies disease. If it does happen that you continue to have thoughts of suicide it is important that you talk to someone you trust for help and advice.
At the end of your email you said”…I hurt myself…” Actually, that is only partially true. The truth is that you put yourself in a dangerous situation and you allowed someone else to hurt your penis. This happened because you did not know any better because you and 99% of the men in the world do not know about Peyronie's disease until they developed it. If men do not know about PD, you can imagine that women are even more ignorant of it. Therefore, it is likely that in your life you will never meet a woman who understands how dangerous it is for a man to be jammed and smashed down by her when he is erect. You know; she never will. Therefore, it is not up to you to deliver any lecture about PD and sex safety. But, it is up to you to be smart; do not ever again allow a young lady to get that close to you when you are erect when she could duplicate that kind of injury. You must select a different range of safer sexual positions in which you are more in control of sexual activity, or at least learn to hold on to her waist so that you can limit how far back she can move to avoid a similar injury.
Please contact me again if you need help of any kind and I will do all that I can for you. TRH